My Encounter With The Infinite

I was a carefree kid with no interest to study and was very playful. I was the 15th child amongst the sixteen children to my elderly parents. They pampered me and my younger brother since we were the tiny torts and the rest of my siblings were grownups and too fearful of dad, to the extent that they had to keep a distance from him.

Well, coming to my pious journey, I used to follow my mom to church every Sunday for two reasons. Firstly, I get to eat a good breakfast after the mass while my mom does the morning marketing. Secondly, I was very poor in my studies till I was not able to recite alphabets and timetables even till I was 12 years old. My mom said if I prayed hard and ask for infinite intervention, I may be able to do it one day. I trusted my mom’s words as word from God that every day and every time I was at the place of worship. I prayed sincerely for the ability to read and write coherently to avoid being the laughingstock of my classmates and my younger cousins

True enough, one fine day I suddenly developed a deep interest in studies. It came from inside me after being mocked and embarrassed by one of my classmate since I was in the last class. Miraculously or due to my shear efforts, with the help of my siblings I was able to memorise the alphabets, timetables and was able to read and write within 6 months.

Surprisingly, I became the 1st boy of the class and there was no return from there. That small step was the beginning of my academic achievements. I was able to leap with no boundaries in exploring the world of knowledge. This deepened my believe in the infinite. I was picked up from the rubble, a worthless stone that was turned into a valuable stone with a purpose on this earth. However, as any human, as the glory grew with too many good things happening around me, I started forgetting the infinite and started believing in myself as the infinite who decides for myself and my life journey.

One fine day, everything that was running smoothly came to a stop. I kept failing my postgraduate exams, my marriage came to a crossroad with my wife being suspicious of me. My close elder brother passed away and my work life was haywire. 

On that day, I sat alone in my room and had a deep reflection of my life trajectory and all the wrong happenings in my life. I was in tears as I couldn’t cope with the sudden overwhelming difficulties that I had to face. As I was holding my head and crying to myself on my study table, there was a holy book on my table. I just flipped through the pages and I felt as though the Infinite was talking to me. The words rang in to me saying, ”I am always with you at your good times and at your bad times, but you are aware of ME only during your difficult times and you forget me during the good times. I am there with you because you are special to ME”.

That day I realised  as humans it is only sensible to respond to the good and bad with neutrality. The  bliss that one experiences   being connected  to Almighty is unfathomable  in this temporary world. From then, I tried seeking  the infinite in everything.  I try to see, feel and hear Him. The Creator who created the mesmerising beauty  also holds me close to experience the divinity of the Infinite.